Well, today I thought I might start posting in the blog space I've had for years. I always have so much on my mind, as do all of us, and it seems not many places to purge it all. What's on my mind right now though . . . FAT!
I have to learn to love myself. I've lost 30 lbs since mid April and that's a great start, but how did I get fat in the first place? Truth is, I've always hated my body. That's where I went wrong. Hating my body didn't make me want to take care of it. And I shouldn't have ever hated it! Not now and not ever. I think back to the good ol' days, but in those days I hated it too. It just kept getting worse. My own self destruction.
Finally I'm eating right. Now for the exercise part.
Since mid April I've been keeping track of everything I eat and weighing myself daily. For exercise I want to do something that feels good. I think it might be yoga and pilates for me. I've started. Hopefully I can continue with it. I'm hoping to be at my high school weight by October so I can go back to California for auditions this year and see if that helps. That's not so shocking. I was "overweight" in high school too. Remember the previously mentioned "good ol' days"?
Everyone always tells me how talented I am in singing, and I've had some success. But the success has come up short lately. It has a lot to do with location. I've had to move back to Colorado because of the economy crash, but even before when I lived in Northern California I think I could have had better chances if I hadn't been so fat. Strike that, I KNOW I would have had better chances.
We'll see if I'm as talented as everyone says. All I've ever wanted in life was to sing.
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